If You Can't Say Something Nice...

By all accounts this post should be blank. But under an hour before the start of The Game (Part II), I will fufill the mental note I made before I started THM, and say something nice about Duke:

Duke made my living situation bearable.

Let me explain. I live in what by some accounts is the least affordable housing market in the country -- I have roommates. And as it so happens, they're all graduates of U of I. And yes, they're not having a particularly good day at the moment.

Let's review the timeline of my first year as a member of an Illini household:

• One month in: Roy Williams makes the entirely appropriate at the time comment "I don't give a shit about Carolina" in response to the dumbest sports interview question not involving trees.
  
  
• Two months in: Roy Williams is at Carolina. Bill Self is at Kansas. Illinois is signing a former Saluki. I'm locking my door at night.
  
  
• Five months in: Football season starts. An Illini-Tar Heel house is not going to be happy during football season.
  
  
• Six months in: Good Lord, they're Cubs fans too.
  
  
• Eight months in: UNC 88, Illinois 81 Leaving dishes in the sink is now a death penalty offense.
  
  
• Nine months in: Illinois is unranked. I'm only allowed in the house between 3 and 5 a.m.
  
  
• Eleven months in: Duke 72, Illinois 62. Now is the time you turn to someone who has an undergraduate degree in Duke hatred. Everyone learns how to achieve new heights in swearing. New depths in grudges are plumbed. Roommates bond over the joy of watching Chris Duhon cry at the inevitable Duke loss. And then watching it again, because the local and sattelite feeds at the bar are just out of sync. Peace decsends over the household.

So in the spirit of national unity, on this Day of Days, I pause to thank Duke. Because of you, an overpriced university of overcoddled high school students still sucking on the teat of a tobacco fortune, I can leave my dishes in the sink. Here's to you, University of New Jersey at Durham. Play ball.