Save Us S.O.S.

I've spent most of the week craving baseless Carolina football speculation. It's one of the joys of college football season - you have games once a week, and six days in between to postulate on what the last batch of performances mean for the upcoming week, the weeks to come, the bowl situation, and whether if the middle linebacker hooks up with the second cheerleader from the left if their kid would be a better wideout than a defensive specialist.

Alas, local newspapers are too busy reporting, well, news, and the national sports sites catering to this sort of thing are too busy following the important teams that go out and win their games, so my craving goes unfilled. Unless I step in with baseless speculation myself. So, some random questions:

Louisville: Not paying attention or not that good? Not that good. Part of that is Big East bias [1] but the rest is just being unimpressed by their schedule. They slaughtered Oregon St., but I don't think we'll know whether the Beavers are any good for another couple of weeks. Louisville bounces back with their cupcake this week, but loses the next two.

Georgia Tech: Bad or just not the Other Tech? Bad. Yes, the beat the Tar Heels, but I'm thinking the first week's results aren't that relevant. After all, judging from Virgina Tech's week one performance the Wolfpack are challengiong for the conference championship. The Yellow Jackets lose the non-Duke three of their next four.

Virginia Tech: Rose Bowl bound? They're not surpassing Texas with the schedule as it stands now. Virginia won't be a top twenty team by the time the Hokies get to them, and BC and Miami aren't enough to overturn poll momentum. If only Mack Brown had a history of losing a game a season...

UNC: Do you believe the crap in the last post? On my better days. Until I read game synopses like this one. And it's stuff like that which makes me think Carolina's dropping a game to the Utes for a sceond year in a row. It'll be close, and the team will recover, but it won't be a win.

Utah: Got a song about them? No. Go away.

[1] Yes, despite the recent performance of Miami, BC, and Virginia Tech, I still have no respect for the Big East. I'm trapped in the mid-90's. Also: Pittsburgh's performance this year.

Unreasonable Expectations Theater

Editor's note: The author of the following is disturbingly optimistic about Tar Heel football year after year. As in "routinely thought UNC would beat FSU in the '90's" opimistic. Hell, he thought Carolina would beat State. The man needs to be committed. Take the following with a large salt dosage

Should:

• Virginia Tech win its next six games. (Likely)
  
• Miami, in addition to losing to the Hokies, drop another game due to lack of focus. (A reasonable assumption)
  
• That other game be against UNC. (Big. Giant. Fluke. Although it's happened before)
  
• Carolina can beat Virginia, Maryland, BC and Duke. (BC is tough. The others, not unreasonable)
  

Then UNC and Virginia Tech play for the championship of the ACC 15-501 Division on November 26th. And Carolina could still only be 6-4 entering the game.

This has been a presentation of Unreasonable Expectations Theater. Thank you.

This Will Somehow Be Blamed on Sendek

The formerly unthinkable Amato job watch has officially begun. I always thought Amato's early success was very specifically Rivers-dependent, but I root for the other side - that's how I'm supposed to think.

From what little I can divine from ESPN's lousy play-by-play, the game looked ugly on both sides, but UNC figured out how to run and the Wolfpack oddly enough didn't seem to attempt a ground game. Was it a better game than the stats make out?

State Pregame Thoughts

Another article on the fierceness of the Carolina-State rivalry, without finding anyone at UNC who seems particularly concerned. Oh, and conclusive proof of a Wolfpack victory. Bunting should have called the squib punt out of bounds and then kicked deep down the center of the field. That play never failed in NCAA 2004.

Me, I'll predict a close UNC win, sealed by a questionable call late in the game. Past performance being a surefire prediction of future results - just like mutual funds!

And since I might as well make it a regular feature, things to sing should the Wolfpack running game run rampant:

Oh, I'm from N.C. State and I'm really really slack;
I applied to Carolina but they sent my papers back.
This cow shit really gets to me,
I wish I was at UNC,
But they don't offer sodomy. State sucks!

and:

Plow your field, sow your seed, give your sheep the dirty deed,
As the tractors go rolling along.
Agriculture is your life, and your sister is your wife,
As the tractors go rolling along.
Oh you go to State, take your cousins out on dates
That's why everybody says -- State Sucks!
So plant your seed, give your sheep the dirty deed,
As the tractors go rolling along.

You'll notice after a while, these songs all seem to hit similar themes.

Speaking of Carter-Finley

Is the field still dead grass by the end of September? Every year? At a school with a Turf Management program? I'm just curious, and it's the sort of detail than Electronic Arts doesn't pick up on.

(I once asked the Kenan groundskeeper his opinion of Raleigh's turf management program. His opinion was not particularly positive and definitely not suitable for print.)

Scheduling Thoughts

ACC Basketblog points to a Durham Herald Sun article arguing the UNC-N.C. State game should end the football season and backs it up with anecdotes of Wolfpack fans in agony after last year's defeat. I've witnessed three Heels-Pack season ending games in the past ten years, (1995, 1998, and 1999) and the dramatic season-ending contests Dascenzo's looking for a definitely there:

1995 was a Thanksgiving matchup in the rain on the yellow grass of Carter-Finley. UNC was playing for bowl eligibility, and the Wolfpack to, well, deny UNC bowl eligibility. From what I recall, a questionable call late in the game gave the Tar Heels the winning score, leading them to the questionable glory of the Carquest Bowl. State recieved four more years of Mike O'Cain.

1998 saw again the Wolfpack trying again to deny UNC a bowl berth, and jockeying for their own bid. I honestly have no memory of this game, which UNC won 37-34 in overtime, but I'm betting it involved a questionable call late in the game allowing UNC the tying score. The Heels were rewarded with Torbush's only bowl game in Las Vegas, and State, with losses to #2 and #3 conference foes Tech and Virginia ended up at the Micron PC Bowl.

1999 was the second matchup in Charlotte, where UNC was trying to deny the Wolfpack a bowl bid, and did so, stopping a State run on the one yard line as time expired. (I have a video clip of that on a computer somewhere. Perhaps I'll unearth it for the world to see.) And don't worry, I'm sure if you aska Raleigh alumnuis, there was a questionable call at some point. To be fair, this was only the season finale for the Tar Heels, as O'Cain would take his team a week later to East Carolina and blow his bowl eligibilty, along with his job, once and for all.

So there you go - three games in November, all nail-biters. You'd think iof you were arguing to enshrine this in the schedule yearly you'd mention the games, right? Herein lies the problem - the games just don't get remembered. On the State side, their part of the ignomies of the O'Cain era, banished from memory unless you're discussing Herb Sendek. On the Tar Heels side, the games just didn't matter. Two were gateways to mediocre bowl games, the third a salve to wounded pride, and of the three I remember one for the pouring rain and the other for a two inch .wmv file buried in a subdirectory somewhere.

Now, ask any UNC fan about 1989. And Spurrier. And the snapshot. Talk to anyone at Wallace Wade in 1994 - the last year of Duke football - where the two teams jockeyed for bowl position with a 41-40 final score in one of the greatest games I've ever attended. Ask any member on the 2-10 2003 squad which hurt more, the schellacking by the Wolfpack or losing the Victory Bell for the first time since The Team Photo.

The North Carolina - Duke game isn't always great. It's almost always meaningless, away from 15-501. It may never be good again - but Vany's improved, so there's hope yet for the Blue Devils. But it deserves the season-ending spot. Carolina-State in September will have to be relegated to the other meaningless games of September.

Liveblogging Finale

7:08 pm Incomplete, punt, penalty. I should just start cutting and pasting that. (Illegal block, 15 yards. Wisconsin starts at the 35.)
7:11 pm The defense comes through with a three and out, and the punt puts the spot on the ten. I really wasn't expecting such a disjointed offensive performance from the Heels.
7:14 pm Longest incomphrensible Miller High Life commercial ever. Followed by Cooter Arnold's longest run of the game, and Baker's longest pass. I don't understand any of the three.
7:17 pm I swear the third down pass to Pollock hit him in the hands. Barth can't hit the 50 yard field goal, and the best chance of the game gets nothing.
7:20 pm Calhoun gets 26 yards on a 3rd and 1. Nngh.
7:21 pm And another 14, to the 18.
7:22 pm Calhoun gets a play off, and Wisconsin hands it to someone in double digits. Isn't that cheating?
7:24 pm Touchdown Calhoun. 14-3.
7:29 pm Third down completion to Holley, after perfecting the impressive pass bouncing off a reciever on first and second. Baker keeps holding his rib cage, too.
7:32 pm Baker gets 11 yards on a run. They have to go on 4th and 1, and I think they do have the running game to do so. So we pass. And the open reciever drops it. I think the game has just been given to Calhoun.
7:39 pm Another great pass with 3 minutes to play. UNC can put together a pretty play as long as they're short of the 50.
7:40 pm A holding penalty, off set by the fact the Badgers had twelve guys able to be held. Heh.
7:43 pm I'd criticize the sudden switch to short passes, but they just got UNC their first 1st and goal. 2 minutes left though.
7:45 pm Three incompletions and Baker's writhing in pain again. Last chance.
7:46 pm Incomplete. I don't question going for it on fourth down, but has the running game really been that bad they couldn't have got it in from four yards out?
7:51 pm Calhoun: 171 rushing yards. Wisconsin: 170.
7:52 pm And we get a pity safety to end the game 14-5.

Well, the defense did everything that could be expected of them. Calhoun's a bruiser of a runner, and the offense couldn't stay out there long enough to offset it. There are still too many offensive penalties, but the running game shows some promise, and hopefully the passing game won't be th this much out of sync the rest of the season. Not that I'll get the chance to see it, of course. Good night.

Third Quarter Liveblogging

6:23 pm What'd I miss? I'm guessing Calhoun running. A lot. But I got back in time for the face mask penalty.
6:25 pm 11 yard sack. Our defense sorely needed that.
6:26 pm Of course, a screen pass to Calhoun wipes that all away. Is Barry Alvarez icing his own field goal kicker?
6:30 pm No, he's giving Calhoun the chance to crush UNC's spirit. Good call by Alvarez on 4th and 1. Better defense by the Heels. I'm agnostic about the spot.
6:31 pm 11 yard completion, and defensive holding for once.
6:33 pm Mason's done for the night. Offensive false start. I'd like a little more emotion from Bunting on the sideline, personally.
6:35 pm Another overthrow of Holley, another punt, another good Wisconsin start. Though the Badgers throw in an illegal block in the back. If the penalty tide turns, that might help UNC hold on.
6:41 pm The Wisconsin offense is tiring me out with the grinding pace. UNC's defense is in better shape, with a sack followed by another almost interception. It's about time we saw through the screen pass.
6:42 pm Wisconsin tries the non-Williams side of the field. A little short of the first down, but the ensuing punt is dead at the 2. Anyone care to explain the meaning of the "illegal touching on the kicking team?"
6:45 pm The offense gets out to the thirty, only to be reviewed.
6:46 pm Play stands, and Wallace Wright has a great catch.
6:48 pm Holley has a good catch, but Baker's down after a big hit. ESPN does not like Carolina's chances.
6:52 pm Arnold gets a handoff from notBaker, and the cameras spend more time on Baker than the resulting 15 yard penalty. Baker's back.
6:54 pm ESPN's demanding one big pass play from the Heels. We get Mason back, but another holding penalty.
6:55 pm 1st and 35. Illegal formation on a play with no gain. 105 penalty yards, leaving only 31 in total offense. And why are they running?
6:57 pm 29 yard gain. Go look at 6:55 pm again.
6:59 pm Intentional grounding on a Wisconsin team already pinned by the punt. 2nd and 23 on the two. Obviously going to Calhoun.
7:01 pm Good defense breaks up the third down pass to Williams. Tate overdances the return of a great punt.
7:03 pm Two incompletions to end the quarter.

Second Quarter Liveblogging

Channel-flipping: Florida State is already two touchdowns up on BC?

5:12 pm Not a good second quarter start. Tackle for a loss, a pass into a sea of white, and a deep interception. For the pressure he was under, it wasn't a particularly bad pass from Baker, however.
5:13 pm Calhoun is still getting pretty good yards per carry. The defense can't sustain if that keeps up.
5:15 pm Good pass defense gets UNC the sack. Wisconsin's pinned deep, and another good punt return. Now if the offense can get something going...
5:16 pm The announcers have given up on the Tar Heel run. Can't really argue, as Arnold runs 15 yards parallel to the line of scrimmage and gets nowhere.
5:18 pm Another long pass on third down is unsuccessful. I'm not sure Baker's being given the time to make those deep throws.
5:19 pm Delay of game penalty turns a field goal into a punt. And it's not like I'm ignoring the Wisconsin penalties - I think they've only had one offsides.
5:20 pm You know, I can put mp3s on my phone now, and don't. iTunes wouldn't change that, especially for less disk space than the iPod shuffle. (Thus endeth geekblogging)
5:22 pm Wisconsin's plays are confusing the cameramen now. Luckily, Carolina's defense isn't as easily fooled. They still can't fully stop Calhoun though.
5:23 pm Holding brings back a Wisconsin first down. Good, since Calhoun was wide open for the short pass.
5:25 pm Tate may be getting overly fancy with his punt returns. Can't complain though, they've all been positive yardage with no stupid mistakes.
5:28 pm First play on offense is horribly broken, but rescued by blatant defensive holding.
5:31 pm Baker's made a couple of smart plays in a row, and we have 3rd and 1 with an injured Badger. And the crawl puts Tech eight points up on UConn.
5:32 pm Before I can fully mock the Wisconsin iPod-whoring commercial, I'm greated by the ACC Mascot Musical ad. Where did that abomination come from? Oh, and am I the only person who upon hearing "On Wisconsin" thinks:

Stanley Freberg,
Stanley Freberg,
Buy some of him today!
This old show costs a lotta bucks,
And brother, that is pay!

I am? Ah well. UNC only gets a field goal.

5:37 pm Brandon Williams has a damn impressive catch. Wisconsin's really only lets two guys touch the ball, don't they?
5:38 pm The cameras show the championship basketball team entering the stadium. Illinois roommate wonders why he can't escape this. I wonder why he's none of the roommates wear the national championship t-shirts I got them with my pool winnings.
5:41 pm Calhoun gets another first down.
5:43 pm A sack, followed by a dropped interception - behind the line of scrimmage - only to give up a touchdown on a screen pass. Holding (on Calhoun!) brings it back.
5:45 pm Touchdown pass to shockingly enough, not Calhoun or Williams is overthrown, followed by a missed field goal. Is anyone with a double digit number allowed to touch the ball for the Badgers?
5:48 pm Good pass to Mason for 24 yards, called back for offensive pass interference. So we run on third and 18. Nngh.
5:52 pm Another great kick, marred by immediate missed tackles. A quick channel flip shows BC has scored 17 straight on FSU.
5:53 pm And we're winding down the clock of the half, and I'm off in search of food.

Liveblogging, Second Attempt

4:22 pm Kickoff!
4:23 pm Well, the kicking game is still good.
4:25 pm Is the quarterback part of the vaunted Badger running game?
4:29 pm Five runs, one first down before being stopped a yard short. It seems on at least a few of those runs the blocking was good enough we couldn't get near Calhoun.
4:30 pm Two penalties on one punt return. Groan.
4:33 pm And now a twenty-yard reception called back for an ineligible reciever. Folks need to settle down. Decent run after the penalty, though.
4:34 pm A first down, as the crawl beneath shows GaTech down a touchdown to COnnecticut. I didn't realize Bowling Green did so well passing against Wisconsin.
4:38 pm Three immediate missed tackles on the punt.
4:41 pm Offsides. This may become penaltyblogging.
4:43 pm First pass attempt by the Badgers. Complete. Also the first play since the opening of the game to have Calhoun touching the ball.
4:44 pm I think Calhoun's tripped the last two times he's touched the ball.
4:46 pm SO far the Badger's passing game has been less the predicted short passes to tight ends and more first downs to Williams.
4:48 pm Third pass to the same place. This one's a late (but correct) pass interference.
4:49 pm Calhoun fumbles. The run defense is stepping up.

(Oh, and Larry Coker saves his job, and Michigan State saves me from looking like a complete idiot two posts down.)

4:54 pm Three and out. A good run on second down, although negating by the sack immediately after. The Badgers have good field position, and UNC can't allow another couple of first downs.
4:57 pm The fifteen yard pass to Williams? That's the kind of thing they didn't need. Especially when followed by a decent Calhoun run.
5:01 pm And now the defense is bending a little too much. It'd help if the offense would be out there a little longer.
5:03 pm Calhoun overachieves on fourth and inches and scores. Now we see if the Heels regroup.

5:05 pm Good, and penalty-free, kickoff return there. Best field position of the game so far.
5:07 pm The question on everyone's minds at the end of the first quarter: Are we going to suffer through four years of inane references to the Dukes of Hazard from the commentariat?

Liveblogging Wisconsin

3:59 pm Did the intro just call the Old Well Walk a longstanding tradition?
4:00 pm Delayed kickoff. 15 minutes until a decision, and they're now emptying the seats.

We're kicked over to Miami-Clemson, 26 seconds left. Two horribly incomplete passes, then an overthrow of a wide-open (cornerback fell down wide-open) reciever, and a field goal to send it into overtime.

I'm not particularly clear on how this is a must-win for Larry Coker. True, 0-2 is not something Hurricanes are particularly fond of seeing, but they'll be losses to Top 20 teams. Coker's worst season is 9-3. He lost six games in his first four seasons. His first loss to a team from Florida wasn't until this month. Three conference championships and one national, and you're firing this guy?

And since we're stuck watching highlights, let's talk about Nebraska-Pittsburgh. Sure, the ball to the head snap is going to have you on blooper reels for the next ten years, but why was the game that close? This is a team that lost to Ohio, and Nebraska can't put up more than a touchdown?

Pregame

Birkel thinks UNC has no chance. The pro-airport nudity Daily Tar Heel says they'll be able to pull it out. Me, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Keep in mind, I've seen five Carolina games in the Bunting era - 2001's Oklahoma, Texas, and Georgia Tech (all losses) and last year's Miami and Boston College games. And I constantly think the football team will be better than it is. Oh, and I swore that upon Virginia Tech's entrance to the ACC they'd be slightly worse than Clemson in every sport they play. You should not be making financial decisions based on my advice.

I'm confident enough in the offense. The question arises whether the front line can stop Wiconsin's running game, and if so can the short passes we keep hearing they're implementing will be successful. I'm thinking yes to both of those questions, but UNC's passing game will be able to outperform the Badgers.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to enjoying the end of the Charlie Weis era. I'll leave you with alternate words to sing should things go badly:

Oh Wisconsin, poor Wisconsin
Party school of fame
You would enjoy academics
But you lack the brain
LET'S GO DRINK!

Oh Wisconsin, poor Wisconsin
Drink yourselves insane
Drink for your Badgers
Will get trashed this game.

On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin!
Bounce right off that line.
Run the ball three times a series,
Punt on fourth and nine.

On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin!
Every week's the same.
Drink, fellows, drink, drink, drink,
Forget this game.

The House That Guilt Built

So the more comments thing never happened, obviously.

I've waffled on football season coverage. I was out of the country for the first two weeks of the season, and am 3,000 miles west of the ACC target market for the remainder of it. While that's tolerable for basketball, Kenan stadium doesn't really get the blanket coverage out here you might expect. (For instance, I found out they'd installed a billboard sized television screen on campus only after it showed up in an Xbox game.)

A cursory trip around the web to get back into the swing of things pretty much only turned up reports of games being played next decade, so football excitement seems to be at the same levels as the last couple of years. However, the Wisconsin game tomorrow is the one televised Heels game I'm going to get this year, so I might as well dust off the webspace and see if I can string a couple of sentences together. Stay tuned.